Best surf report ever!

WesleyPipes420 started the topic in Monday, 3 Feb 2014 at 05:11 pm

"AFTERNOON REPORT: There's a joke about high winds blowing the tits off a nun. But I dare not speak about that here. But I will speak about the wind. It's strong gale force winds and the ocean looks like a giant omelette."

CLASSIC!

thermalben Monday, 3 Feb 2014 at 09:46 pm

Even better was the Barwon Heads report: "That old saying about not having anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Well that applies to what this afternoon is serving up. It's a main course of horrendous, rolled in terrible and then beaten with a whisk."

stunet Tuesday, 4 Feb 2014 at 08:51 am

thermalben wrote:

"That old saying about not having anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Well that applies to what this afternoon is serving up. It's a main course of horrendous, rolled in terrible and then beaten with a whisk."

Damn celebrity chefs are everywhere!

braithy Tuesday, 4 Feb 2014 at 10:14 am

lol ... My Kitchen Rules, man.

WesleyPipes420 Tuesday, 4 Feb 2014 at 08:43 pm

"If Bert Newton was surfing Bells, the onshores would blow his toupee clean off his head and it'd end up in Mildura before you could say, "Paddle Bert!" It's a mess out there, forget surfing and probably more importantly forget about Bert Newton's toupee."

WesleyPipes420 Tuesday, 4 Feb 2014 at 08:55 pm

These funny reports have been the only good thing about the Surf Coasts' recent surf conditions .

southey Tuesday, 4 Feb 2014 at 10:26 pm

when the Winds from the east , the fish BIGHT the least ....

WesleyPipes420 Wednesday, 5 Feb 2014 at 04:47 pm

"Torquay is serving up some high tide hamburgers this afternoon. It's enough to make you skip dinner and head straight for the spirits. Not the ghosts, the hard liquor." bahahahaaaaa

ACB__ Thursday, 13 Feb 2014 at 04:11 pm

Afternoon report: More pus than you can poke a stick at. It's so bad, I recommend you sell all of your boards and move out west and grow vegetables.

hahahahaha

kaiser Thursday, 13 Feb 2014 at 06:31 pm

I remember one from way back in SE QLD - 'It's uglier than a hairless cat today' That one stuck with me...