Margaret River Pro: Day 1

You could lay your head down today, lulled senseless by the soothing monotone of Joe Turpel, and wake from a short nap having not missed a single wave - no dramas.

Apart from the novel-length lulls, and considering it was the opening day of the cut event where careers are on the line, it was a day of incredibly low tension. More akin to watching someone beach fishing than participating in elite sport. Sure, the metaphorical rod might bend once or twice in a thirty five-minute heat but the shiny, flapping catch was most often some undersized bread and butter fish. A sheepish looking bream or a sad-eyed whiting. In surfing terms: a flubbed top-turn or a weird tail slide snap on the end section. Keeper scores were rare; just one wave from six heats of three surfers, featuring the best women surfers on the planet, broached the 7-point range.

No shortage of 'lifestyle moments' for the Woz today, however the real-time viewing told a different story with a small and, at times, wildly inconsistent swell (WSL/Ryder)

The tension was dialed down, for self-survival reasons no doubt, on the post-heat pressers. These pressured athletes were all feeling as light as birds, overwhelmed with gratitude and Insta-worthy phrases about being in the moment etc etc. Only Lakey Peterson's fidgety body language and uncontrolled grimaces in between boilerplate platitudes gave an inkling of the pressure.

No probs. Us surf fans are used to labouring away with no help from the people tasked with giving us a version of reality that roughly accords with what is true. We find out, in our own ways, with our own methods.

Seven rides over the six opening heats reached the 6-point mark, with Bettylou's 7 topping the scoring for the day. The best ride of the day for mine was Caity Simmers opener after a re-started heat then a near-twenty minute wait into the second heat. A really slick, styled-out slice before two more turns and a closer looked the clear best ride of the day on the biggest wave of the day.

Waiting almost twenty minutes for a wave to break, Caity dispatched the first wave of the set and led for the entire heat (WSL/Hughes)

With the low amount of waves on offer and corresponding conservative approach, heat scores were low and incredibly tight. Most heats were decided by less than a point, which is the margin of error. In other words, it was close to pure luck who got through. 0.76 was the spread between first and last in the Bettylou, Tyler Wright, and Sally Fitz match-up. Sally's two closing rides were both judged just below the advancing score. Sally goes to the Elimination Round, with Johanne Defay and Bronte Macauley who was shunted by 0.04 of a point by Sawyer Lindblad.

Has Sally got another go around on the Changa in her? That would make the third year in a row she has failed the cut. At what point do you hang it up?

Sal, still the fan's favourite (WSL/Hughes)

Measured by endorsements and profile, Fitzgibbon has to be considered the most successful women's surfer on tour. The webcast is saturated with Fitzgibbon endorsed products. Sometimes I wake in the night from dreams populated by Chinese four wheel drives piloted by Sal, such is their psychic penetration. Maybe a robot vacuum from Harvey Norman chasing me around the house disturbs my slumber. Would those contracts survive the cut? We saw the relationships between Dometic and Owen Wright disappear relatively quickly once he failed the cut. Others, of course, are in a similar boat, despite the sunny dispositions and happy talk. There will be real pressure with livelihoods on the line.

In a heat that Richie Lovett guessed may have "broken a record for the amount of lead changes," Gabriela took a last desperate wave, finishing it on dry rock, or dry brick, or dry table (WSL/Hughes)

Isabella Nichols claimed she was reclaiming the good feelings from her 2022 victory to make the cut. She got the year wrong in the presser - she said 2020 instead of 2022 - but not to worry; feelings trump facts in this world. Until they don't.

Luckily, there is always a fifty-something bloke in a Patagonia puffer jacket with a salt and pepper beard who can pick you up and tell you otherwise, for a small cut and a monthly retainer.

Gabriela and her salt and pepper bearded fifty-something bloke, who's even older in dog years (WSL/Ryder)

A few laydays ahead by the looks of it. Wine and good food for our athletes to soothe the nerves. Maybe a few clips for Caity Simmers, although she claimed the wind and sun was strong and her skin is weak for that. Syrian skin is definitely an advantage for longevity in this sun-soaked adventure, but even that will have to submit to the undefeated Father Time.

As we see lifers and veterans bow out, does Kelly have one more rabbit in his hat to pull out? At the least a bombshell announcement delivered before the door hits him on the way out? Based on past performances we'd have to expect something.

The GOAT will not go quietly into the night.

//STEVE SHEARER

Western Australia Margaret River Pro Women’s Opening Round Results:
HEAT 1: Molly Picklum (AUS) 11.33 DEF. Alyssa Spencer (USA) 10.66, Luana Silva (BRA) 8.67
HEAT 2: Lakey Peterson (USA) 10.73 DEF. Sophie McCulloch (AUS) 9.60, Johanne Defay (FRA) 9.57
HEAT 3: Caitlin Simmers (USA) 11.57 DEF. Sawyer Lindblad (USA) 11.00, Bronte Macaulay (AUS) 10.96
HEAT 4: Gabriela Bryan (HAW) 10.90 DEF. Caroline Marks (USA) 10.67, India Robinson (AUS) 10.37
HEAT 5: Bettylou Sakura Johnson (HAW) 12.33 DEF. Tyler Wright (AUS) 11.83, Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) 11.57
HEAT 6: Isabella Nichols (AUS) 10.34 DEF. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 9.56, Brisa Hennessy (CRC) 8.60