the soccer challengs
yell "any bastard touches the ball, i'll rip your scrotum off." then you just go do whatever it is that you do to score a goal in soccer. then do that two more times.
Being intelligent isn't an option, chook, so back to the chookhouse for you.
Next ...
au contraire, pete...i just demonstrated my intelligence by showing i know nothing about "soccer".
What rhymes with Rees0, Ress0?
No does.
You get another shot, chooko, but not in Francais, s'il vous plait.
Next.
jeez. do i have to draw a map here...
step one -- the straight man (that's you pete) sets up the joke.
step two -- then the funny man (that's me) comes to your aid with a ridiculous reply.
step three -- the straight man delivers the punch line
step up to the mic and give us the punch line
By 'goal' are you referring to the ball going into the net?
Edward de Bono wants to know.
You blokes need ten fingers to count to five.
I'll give you the first one, and in the manner it was told to me by a bloke in Glasgow just before he laid me out with a headbutt.
"A fella – he’s centre-forward, he pits the ba’ through his own goal.
That’s one.
Well, then, this same fella picks up the ba’ and kicks off, frae the centre. But he disnae pass, see. No’ fear. He belts the ba’ doon the park, and chases after it, and the a dirty big full-back ca’s the pins frae him.
PENALTY."
ok so far Eddy?
Sort of. Actually, yeah, but you go on, I'm enjoying the Begbie-style dialect.
He scores from the penalty ref blows half time then repeats the scenario of the second goal. YNWA!
That's three Pete, but for a bit of atmosphere we all sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" and some insulting ditties about the opposition's antecedents.
A fella – he’s centre-forward, he pits the ba’ through his own goal. That’s one.Well, then, this same fella picks up the ba’ and kicks off, frae the centre. But he disnae pass, see. No’ fear. He belts the ba’ doon the park, and chases after it, and the a dirty big full-back ca’s the pins frae him –
PENALTY.
‘ So, our boy grabs the ba’- naebodyelse has touched it, mind, since he kicked aff – pits it on the spot, and lams it in.
That’s Two, right? ‘
– and as soon as the goal’s scored – the ref whistles for hauf-time. An when they come oot fur the second hauf, it’s our boy’s turn tae kick aff, see, ‘cos the ither side kicked aff at the start o’ the game.
So – he does the same thing again – batters it doon the park .. gets the hems pit oan him again by the dirty big full-back …. and’ ………….
…. and there’s another penalty, an oor boy shouts, ‘ Ma ba, ‘ and takes it again and belts it IN …’
That’s number three, and thank you George Macdonald Fraser.
.....obviously a Celtic fan with such a fine appreciation of the subtleties of the game.
He wrote the Flashman series, and one of the best books on the war in Burma written. This little tale came from hIs MCCauslan series.
And Perth Glory got stuffed!
Anyways, this here's the game!
https://www.foxsports.com.au/football/uefa-champions-league/champions-l…
YNWA
.. a test for intelligent, sportsminded surfers.
How is it possible in a game of soccer to score three successive goals without any other player touching the ball in between?
There will be prizes, and Stunet is forbidden to enter.