Clubbie craps in his cap

stunet started the topic in Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 02:26 pm

Time was when clubbies were pillars of society and surfers were ne'er-do-wells. The SLSA was a nation-building movement creating strong, industrious men of integrity etc etc. And though the stereotypes are aged who doesn't delight in a spot of role reversal?

Earlier this month when pro surfers were performing for the cameras at Snapper, giving polite interviews, or pissing in a bottle to prove their purity, their clubbie brethren were tieing one on at Burleigh RSL. Their behaviour degenerated to the point where one clubbie from Queenscliff RSL - same club Tony Abbott and Mike Baird are members of - shat into his cap and put it on a table at the club.

The Gold Coast Bulletin is covering the scandal with some sober reporting. Second line of the story reads: "The big stink involves a boat crew member from...."

stunet Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 02:27 pm new

Parp

zenagain Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 03:51 pm new

Steady on, this is the sort of behaviour our forefathers fought for.

chook Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 04:47 pm new

pass me the hat, thanks.

Rabbits68 Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 04:58 pm new

Certainly puts a different spin on "passing the hat around".........

simba Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 05:36 pm new

Was it Big Tone?

Wharfjunkie Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 05:48 pm new

These the same people who pay backpackers a measly commission to hassle shoppers for donations at supermarkets.

Wharfjunkie Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 05:48 pm new

These the same people who pay backpackers a measly commission to hassle shoppers for donations at supermarkets.

tonybarber Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 05:51 pm new

Ahhh, we surfers have never done anything like that have we ...
Nah, TonyA puts his potatoes in the front on his cossies not the back.

wally Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 06:49 pm new

The surf boat competitors, they are a mad crew who pride themselves on being nuts.

I don't think they necessarily reflect the broader SLSA community.

blindboy Wednesday, 12 Apr 2017 at 10:59 pm new

Clubbies eh? What a bunch! If they were ever entirely respectable it was well before my time. Porno nights, prostitutes, drunken rampages, whipping the old feller out for a piss in a crowded car park, shitting in a hat, all good fun.

simba Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 06:13 am new

yep up standing members (pun) of the community........so next time they knock on your door for a donation dig deep,could be for new hats.

terrance Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 07:40 pm new

Maybe instead of an online review of the joint, he did an in-person review!

Disgusting act no doubt, but gee wizz, let's start throwing a few stones from inside the glass house. All sporting organisations have had a few idiots under the influence of whatever doing real dumb stuff they regret.

As disgusting as it was, let's think about an act a lot worse on a surf journo by a surf photographer in south africa that a lot of the surf media (probably a few that write/get promoted on swellnet) wanted kept quiet (which happened for a while). Shame! Lucky we have some on-line websites that don't encourage censorship.

Was that worse than the "crappy clubby from queensy''?

Wharfjunkie Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 07:55 pm new

a surf journo is there really journos in the surf game unbiased ?

terrance Thursday, 13 Apr 2017 at 08:10 pm new

Or a surf journo that's mildly intelligent and not never-endlessly seeking approval from anyone, anywhere?

(note: unfortunately, stunet seems to be be top of that useless pile at the moment!)

Blowin Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 04:24 pm new

Sounds like Terrence got touched up by the boat crew ....and liked it.

Don't feel too bad mate, happens to people quite a bit apparently.

I had a few mates that were in the Surf Club boat crew, it wasn't too surprising when it was revealed that they were regularly rooting each other unbeknownst to their girlfriends .

It was pretty obvious looking back. Their idea of cutting loose involved a whole lot more boys only nudity and " wrestling " than any other blokes I knew.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Halfscousehalf… Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 07:17 pm new

Who cares, most of us have been out on the grog and done or witnessed stupid things with other surfers, on footy trips, end of year sport events etc. grubby? Yes, funny at the time? Most likely. Is going to end the world? No. get on with it

blindboy Friday, 14 Apr 2017 at 11:11 pm new

Fair enough, but as one scouser to another, not having lived a particularly protected life, I have to say I have never encountered a shit in a hat. Some things, however much you regret them later, were understandable in the circumstances. Shitting in a hat? Nah, that's seriously fucked up shit (literally).

Halfscousehalf… Saturday, 15 Apr 2017 at 07:55 am new

Ha, had a few beers last night and was a bit short. Yes a shit in a hat is disgusting no doubt, and I have never encountered this myself. However to make the Gold Coast bulletin?? Surely there's better things to report.

GuySmiley Saturday, 15 Apr 2017 at 08:24 am new

I can't read the link as its paywalled but I hope the headline was Shit for Brains!

terrance Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 07:14 pm new

Blowin, understand now how you got your nickname, it was from your clubbie mates...

AndyM Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 07:32 pm new

If it was literally fucked up shit, someone would have been rooting the poo in the hat.

velocityjohnno Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 08:42 pm new

Parcopresis is the clinical name for "bashful bowel syndrome," the inability to defecate in public toilets. This type of phobia is most prevalent among the public restroom phobias due to the need for sitting down, and being confined in a tight, "germ-filled" bathroom stall.

AndyM Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 09:22 pm new

Fascinating VJ, just fascinating - whenever I get shy and have trouble crimping one off, that's when the hat comes out.

zenagain Sunday, 16 Apr 2017 at 11:00 pm new

Years ago I was at Cocktails and Dreams for a work party and a pretty loose bloke I no longer know (thank goodness) took a girls handbag to the dunny and deposited a big old turd in it and returned to it's original position while his mate had been distracting her.

I wasn't around to see what happened when she found out, but I thought that was hilarious at the time. With age and maturity I now realise it was the lowest of the low.

No he wasn't a surfer, he was a chef can you believe it?

Blowin Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 06:02 am new

Remember when Rodney Rudes grandfather hired that hooker and told her he wanted to do something really kinky ?

So he gets her to take her clothes off and stand staring into the corner of the room.

After 1/2 an hour she's puzzled and says " I thought we were going to do something kinky "

Rodney's grandfather says " I already did . I shit in your purse. "

goofyfoot Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 06:54 am new

Hahah
Along with his brother who was always "finding" things...

stunet Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 09:28 am new

Many years ago I hung around with a fella who would've mad a good boatie if he was so inclined. Definitely shared the same twisted proclivities. When we were teens a bunch of us rocked up at Treachery early one morning and began setting up camp. Old mate disappeared for a few minutes then came back and said, "Fellas, I've done a turd and you have to guess where."

For a day or so we tiptoed around camp, checked sleeping bags, stubbie holders, everything because each footstep or placed finger was potentially a distaster. Turned out it was at the bottom of another mates jar of cream cheese. He'd emptied it out, taken a dump, then filled it up. That stunt didn't go down too well - metaphorically not literally fortunately.

Another time he ate a McRib from Engadine Maccas, took the carton into the dunny, then did his business. He then deposited the carton, replete with new ingredients, on the counter saying, "I'm not eating this shit."

However, his piece de resistance was a crap taken on the bonnet of a mates car, finished off with a peeled banana stuck in it like a leaping Jaguar hood ornament. It was creative depravity.

zenagain Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 09:47 am new

And now he's a high flying human rights lawyer?

stunet Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:41 am new

Builder I believe, though I'm told he now uses a port-a-loo when on site.

zenagain Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:52 am new

Reason I asked is that I know a bloke whom I've never liked, filthy, arrogant, pig of a man, no respect for anything and anyone, with very similar habits to your mate above. Now he's an exec in one of Australias biggest fossil fuel companies. Pulls in about 800k a year.

Couldn't have gone to a least deserving fellow.

(PS that's no slur on human rights lawyers, just the first thing that popped into my mind).

terrance Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 06:14 pm new

Blowin, that was Rodney Rude himself that pooped in the hookers purse whilst she stood on her head in the corner (i.e. "he wanted to do something kinky'').

His grandad use to have a root once a month except in January, "cause the bloke who lifted him on and off was on holidays''.

Has the ''crapping clubby from queensy'' been promoted to club captain (or a one week suspension from the club?).

terrance Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 09:36 pm new

So stunet, you bag out the "'clubby cap crapper'' and his whole organisation with some pretentious, self-serving, try-hard act of self-importance , easily getting the brain-dead forum punters here to nod their vacant heads in agreement to your theory that surfers are now more socialised and respectful than joe-clubbie, but yet, you rejoice in hanging out with "'Bob the defecating builder'', still happy to eat your new special blend of cream cheese and triumph in this anal ejecting antics in family-eating establishments, etc.?

I'm hoping you see your hypocrisy? Are you in the right job?

Happy Easter by the way.

groundswell Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 09:48 pm new

Yeah happy Easter, not as bad as making a guy drink piss. Which is what i regrettfully did once.
I pissed in a cup earlier on one night. I had a Bintang shirt on and later on a guy says whoah ive been to bali too. I says you havent been to bali till youve drunk the Jungle juice. Still wonder about how that guys gonna get me back.

terrance Monday, 17 Apr 2017 at 10:06 pm new

groundswell, as long as it improved his breath, I'd say it was a win-win situation.

stunet Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 06:44 am new

Ha ha...bit slow, old Terrance. Hows about laying another of your highly inteligent posts on us mate?

terrance Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 09:40 am new

Will do, but later in the week.

stunet Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 09:55 am new

Busy posting on other websites?

zenagain Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 10:30 am new

Tyler Durdan/Brian Wu?

terrance Tuesday, 18 Apr 2017 at 11:51 am new

Nah, busy week. Unfortunately.

truebluebasher Wednesday, 19 Apr 2017 at 05:03 pm new

Ode to 2017 Aussie's (Mud Army).

Aussie's were cancelled, bit of a dud.
All got a dose of Debbie's bad blood.
Best rescue gear but no flipper for flood.
Still shovellin' shit or is that clubbie's mud.

innatube Friday, 21 Apr 2017 at 07:22 am new

In NQ back in the late 70's a clubbie told me of one of their little games called Soggie Sao.
A few of them would gather in a circle around a Sao biscuit and flog themselves until they'd all spoofed on the biscuit . Last one had to eat it. Never got invited to that one fortunately.

Then of course there was the AJ's favourite game called Freckles. One contender would lay a turd on the table surrounded by his mates then someone would belt the said turd with a lump of 3x2 and they'd see who would end up with the most freckles. Enlightened times.

GuySmiley Friday, 21 Apr 2017 at 07:50 am new

Perhaps this forum topic could be renamed "uniquely Australian values".