The worse songs in the history of the known universe.

Sheepdog started the topic in Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 04:39 pm

You know the ones.. The mega hits.... They blared out over all the radio stations.... MTV.... Countdown.... Rage........ At the time, you shook your head.... "Why? ...... How can people buy this? That's not a song.... That's a dying animal..... It's a CIA torture device.....
Share your worse distant and recent musical memories here.... Let's have a laugh....

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 04:48 pm new

We'll start with this song.... A bad song.... A nauseating song.... Could've chosen anything from this band.... I really couldn't stomach looking at David's sock filled tights, so I opted for this clip..... Note; the chorus "It's got what it takes" etc etc etc doesn't have a word in it bigger than one syllable.... A truly over produced yet dumbed down piece of dried vomit......

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fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 05:25 pm new
zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 05:55 pm new

Nice try Fitzy but I dare you to sit through the entirety of this god-awful song:-

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:00 pm new

And if you haven't smashed the screen of your computer in yet, this one will get you over the line.

Imagine the long version? You'd be all Charles Manson by now.

fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:08 pm new

Your killing me Zen...............

fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:12 pm new

Pull the toothpicks out of your eyes with this one..........

simba Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:13 pm new

Zen,im seriously worried about you mate..........cant believe you knew these songs existed,hope you havent got The Best Of the above..............NURSE!!!!!!!! no wonder you have ear problems...

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:15 pm new

Stop!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!! Bahahahaha.
Zen and fitz..... If you want to know how to put the you tube clip up like I did instead of just the link, this is how;

Just below the actual clip you are watching, (and just above the comments), you'll see 3 options - "add to", "share" and "more"......
Click on "share"....

When you've clicked on share, another option will appear, called "embed".... (as in embed that clip somewhere)....... So click on embed....... A really big link address will appear....... Use that link instead of the one you've been using, and paste exactly how you have been..... that will "embed" the clip into your comment...
Give it a try.... :)

fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:19 pm new

No SD, we want you to suffer by clicking on it to find out just how bad it is.............hahahahaha.

Thanks for the heads up though :)

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:27 pm new

This is hilarious. Nice one Fitzy.

I'll see what I can do Sheepy but after Fitzy's song, the only thing I want to 'embed' is cotton wool in my ears:)

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:29 pm new

Here's a Sunday arvo special for Simba:)

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zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:45 pm new

I'm on a roll now-

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zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:46 pm new

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zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:47 pm new

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Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:48 pm new

fitzroy-21 wrote:

No SD, we want you to suffer by clicking on it to find out just how bad it is.............hahahahaha.

Thanks for the heads up though :)

Wow...................... You not a very nice person, are you...... ;p

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:48 pm new

The challenge has been met and dare I say bested.

En garde adversaire!

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 06:56 pm new

Fitzy deserves this....... He really does.....

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fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 07:12 pm new

Here ya go SD

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zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 07:36 pm new

Nice one Fitzy, but if we're going to fight from the trenches of Ramsay St, we'd better make it a two pronged attack:-

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benski Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 07:48 pm new

Alright you amateurs, stop linking through songs on my high rotation play list and get stuck into this beauty. Two people who should have known better....

Although I'm guilty of posting this before.

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 07:59 pm new

Ok...... If benksi and fitz are going to use the disgraceful practice of not embedding, for purely sadistic reasons, I have no other option...... No one puts sheepy in the corner..

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 08:03 pm new

After that laxative of a song, you'll soon be loosening up, and will be ready for THIS!!!

fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 08:09 pm new

Welcome aboard benski.
Sheepy, that is seriously terrible.
This is for Zen also.
Take this ................ Sssshhhhh, I've secretly got a soft spot for Kylie
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benski Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 08:28 pm new

Cheers Fitz, Good to be on board the Good Ship Earbleed. I'm gonna try and get a little closer to my own spotify playlist with this one. And I'm embedding Sheepdog, I saw how easy it was and decided I'd give it a try...so there's no surprise, you're probably not even reading this crap....on topic, first heard Neil when I was 8 and loved the tunes straight away. Kind of dreamy, melancholic and then raw and angry a bit later. I loved it but I really didn't know why. Something just struck a chord.

And then eventually I came across this, as we all must at some point.

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A song by a truly legendary musician that I think is quite possibly the worst song in the history of the known universe.

benski Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 08:33 pm new

Oh and sheepdog, you've revealed yourself to be a sadistic bastard in starting this.

And it just might be the best thread ever!

fitzroy-21 Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 08:36 pm new

ENOUGH.....................I need to sleep without bad nightmares and flashbacks.

I will come back with shockers tomorrow.

This is hilarious :)

Get these horrible songs out of my head.

away Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 09:34 pm new

Yeah! This is getting good.

away Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 09:37 pm new

Make sure you stick around to at least 1:05.

I agree, no embedding is more fun.

away Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 09:39 pm new

Some prime stuff from Cronulla.

Good night gentlemen.

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 10:19 pm new

Away san- you monster!

The gauntlet has well and truly been laid down. Those are pure awful.

zenagain Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 10:28 pm new

Catchy- bwa ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

Sheepdog Sunday, 10 Apr 2016 at 11:31 pm new

Ok..... Before I go to bed humming some of these truly ghastly creations, I think we should all reflect on how bad mainstream Australian country music really is......... It's goodnight from me..... And its goodnight from him.....

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southey Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:15 am new

You guys are amateurs in this department .

I always sing this chorus at full voice ,when I'm paddling into a bomb set wherever is packed .
Thanks Wiz ' , so talented !
Edit . Honourable mention Zen ! Jacko another Genius .

fitzroy-21 Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 05:36 am new

Hahahahaha, I knew you'd come in with a clanger southey. It may be on par with Zen, at least same code...

Away and SD, my mind is ruined for the day.

zenagain Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 09:02 am new

Evil Southey.

A little light relief while I regroup.

In the car forum ages ago I mentioned I had a piece of shit Corona I bought off a chick I was trying to bed. Anyway, the tape player was broken and this groups 'best of' tape was stuck in it and wouldn't eject. I had to play this on a continuos loop. Rocking up to out of the way spots with this pumping didn't exactly add to my cred:-

loungelizard Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:01 pm new

benski wrote:

Oh and sheepdog, you've revealed yourself to be a sadistic bastard in starting this.

And it just might be the best thread ever!

GONAD_MAN Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:08 pm new

Found this one. Could be Zens pre surf amp up song.

loungelizard Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:09 pm new

a fine choice by benski, in neil youngs defence i think there was an element of "metal machine music" contractual obligation and a lawsuit involved with that execrable album.

as a genre i vote for those surf music strummers , jones, frankenreiter etc, in the words of "the inbetweeners 2", on arriving at a hostel and checking out the crew/girls etc, "theres always some cunt with a guitar…"

thermalben Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:14 pm new

It's a slightly different kind of song (by definition), but ever since last Thursday I've had the theme to 'Beyond 2000' swirling around in my head thanks to The Checkout. 

zenagain Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:17 pm new

"theres always some cunt with a guitar…"

That would be a great titile for a song.

Gonadman, sounds like I'm stuck in a Pachinko parlor in Akihabara. Awful!

Well done.

Sheepdog Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 01:34 pm new

Ok..... Ok....... The fun and games are over..... Yes, we can post little Warwick Capper songs that maybe sold a handful of copies..... But what I am about to put you through infected more people than bird flu, zika, and ebola combined...... A song so hideous, yet so huge, aliens have not visited our planet since out of sheer disgust....

floyd Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 02:57 pm new
southey Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 03:34 pm new

Sheepdog wrote:

Ok..... Ok....... The fun and games are over..... Yes, we can post little Warwick Capper songs that maybe sold a handful of copies..... But what I am about to put you through infected more people than bird flu, zika, and ebola combined...... A song so hideous, yet so huge, aliens have not visited our planet since out of sheer disgust....

Come on SD , i know you like winning and all .
Just face it , the 'wiz wins hands down . Covers all bases of retarded , infact i think he maybe legally. !
Its the right measurement of bad ( not selling any copy's ) despite being promoted by good ole' money bags Jeffrey Edelstein . [ That man could sell ice skates to paraplegics / (and probably did ) ] .

Anyway nice mention of " Charlene " , i beleive the ABC's " the Late Show " , may have dedicated half as show to her .

Maybe this thread could be followed by the best songs written as piss takes .

Still on the late show , " Shit Scared " was inspired by the real life ?!? documentary of Canadian Ken Carter , which in turn inspired Ammonia to write the song " Ken Carter " on the Album name also inspired " Mint 400 ".
Other mentions for such piss take material would surely have to go to TISM , the 'gurg , the Fauves .

Sheepdog Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 03:54 pm new

Southey writes "Come on SD , i know you like winning and all ."

I don't think there are any winners in this thread, southwald ..... Bahahahaha.......

lostdoggy Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 04:20 pm new

Belle and Sebastian thought Charlene's song was so good that they would rip it off straight (Take your carriage clock and shove it).
I enjoyed the Warwick song, I must say.

Debbie Gibson popped into the thread yet?

zenagain Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 04:37 pm new

The only redeeming part of this song is the gorgeous young lady in the pink bikini.

The rest?

Utter tripe.

nomad1 Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 04:45 pm new

after watching the t20 world cup recently i heard this song. got stuck in my head which is a shame because it blows.

zenagain Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 04:55 pm new

Nomads a champion......

WTF, this next one isn't even music:-

talkingturkey Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 05:02 pm new

Too much low hanging fruit. Meh.

I'm with Souffle. Where's the subversive chart-topping shit?

For example:

the art of masturbation (covered by and catered for both sexes).

"Turning Japanese" by the Vapors

"She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper

C'mon kids and nannas, sing along!

southey Monday, 11 Apr 2016 at 05:22 pm new

Gary G just sent me a fax .

Detailing his idol " the wiz' " ( another man well aware of his own rig and the importance of sunbeds )
, sharing with me the existance of a rare B side .......

CCAAAPPPPPPEEEERRRRRRR !