& oh the food and beverage package for the alfwedo calhoun expwess
…sumsing to sing about for z fwencho spano exploratory missionaries ;)

“ The Swellent constituency had me halfway to believing I was some sort of random Seppo dickhead wanker with no surfing qualifications, knowledge or experience whatsoever”

…welllll
- ummmmm

…

& AW may well be the capitan of calhoun’s expwess
…with guarantees of birds like this faaaaaaark

-$end z muneeeee ;)

Amazing that people that we're kinda relevant in the surf world 30+ years ago still try use that to con everyday people today.
Tom Carrol and his "wellness camps" for $3500 per weekend are no different.

Before you get too excited JC, no way am i comparing you to TC, you're his chewed toe nails

^^^

same goes for the gatekeepers of yore

amazing that some of the biggest vigilante gatekeepers of yore lose their significance in the line up, and suddenly are willing to sell out once quiet spots all in the name of 'sharing'

the bastardisation of techo and social media language is incredibly nauseating

tearymasseuse wrote:

“ The Swellent constituency had me halfway to believing I was some sort of random Seppo dickhead wanker with no surfing qualifications, knowledge or experience whatsoever”

…welllll

- ummmmm

…

& AW may well be the capitan of calhoun’s expwess

…with guarantees of birds like this faaaaaaark

-$end z muneeeee ;)

Tearymasseuse. Hi mate, keep that humdrum rolling.

Superb Lyrebird, we all know, incredible ‘mimicry’ skills.

John Calhoun is hoping for last minute ‘monetary kills’.
I’m sure his favourite bird in the world is the DollarBird.

The gap of intelligence between those two species is as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
A lyrebird would never reveal the exact location of its performance dance floor. Just saying. AW

“ The gap of intelligence between those two species is as wide as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
A lyrebird would never reveal the exact location of its performance dance floor. Just saying. AW “

^ haha, this is true ;)

& most ppl understand no one needs to make a motza
- just salt ya meaty balls and make a motz instead

(sometimes the ketchup isn’t needed / keep it simple)

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

& by now you’ve surely realised we don’t give a fark ;)

- worth a mention

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Can you show us some pics please of the right & left ?

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

JC. Devine explorer, isn’t it just a jump to the left and then a step to the right ?
Or, first look left, then right, then left again.

I’ve gotta give it to you, you’re persistent, just like haemorrhoids, a real pain in the arse.
May I recommend this cream to you, Anusol. Try it, rubbing it in for the first time, well it’s quite an enjoyable feeling, the more you dig around the better you will feel erogenously. All the best with that. AW

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Trust me. I’m a photographer from the 90s with no other qualifications. I now want to be your surf guide for a small sum of $3000 USD

Time must be running out to lock in that third punter for an August trip.

Calhoun must have mentioned it but how many days spent in the location?

JC, how about drip feeding us a few free details.
So, its $3000 for your services + return airfares to Jakarta.
How long is the adventure and is accommodation, all meals and booze included in the 3k?
How much spending money needed?
Do we have to pay for the photos you take of us surfing empty perfection?
What if 20 punters send you $1500, how do you choose the 3 lucky winners?
Is there medical help nearby?
What if the surf is crap, do you say sorry?
Hard to take you seriously with so few details pal.

It's for 14 days apparently, that's all I know.
The clock is ticking.

I wonder what his refund policy is?

goofies have let him down with his left point break, he's talking it up for regulars now..

seeds wrote:

I wonder what his refund policy is?

haha, tempted @seeds? go for it, mate, I'd kick in $$ if you take the asym Tiger made for you, cos calhoun loves and asym, and hear how he tells you it's not the right asym for you, and he's seen much better asyms and knows all there is to know on asyms. seriously, who wouldn't pore over an article by @seeds about his time in the jungle with @john.calhoun..??

Gawd no as Syp says

Nah

I couldn’t stand this carrot cake

I'm makin a George Motz burger as soon as, Teary. That looked GOOD. (insert hearts in eyes emoji here)

john.callahan wrote:

Today's conditions at the target area - 2.2 meters of SW swell at 15 seconds period, wind light NW at 3kts - the Righthander will be good!

Did I mention there is no one surfing in this area?

Not even you without someone else’s $3000. Pan handling for a loose promise.

Gotta remember fellas, this is $3K USD, which is $4.6K AUD........Bargain.

…been there, done that ;)

tearymasseuse wrote:

…been there, done that ;)

These types of vlogs are just so painful to watch

^ yep, nice boat tho

…some things don’t need to be filmed or documented
- or shamelessly self promoted under the guise of imagined explorative virtue ;)

Let’s go!

…go hard or go home

;);)